The past two weeks have been a living hell. I've mentioned in a previous
post the 3d breakdowns that are happening all around me, mostly
with my immediate family and health issues.
Two weeks ago my adult son and only child was diagnosed
with advanced MS. It took over a year for a diagnosis, as his
symptoms continued to worsen. I held out hope that maybe it
was lyme disease or another treatable auto-immune disease. But
when the diagnosis came, it rocked my world.
I found myself - and I couldn't hold myself back, diving in head first.
The rescuer - the fixer - the healer - the magician..........this was
my son and my rage was palpable. I went down and I went down
fast into this unending black hole. I turned off the phone, limited
my internet presence and processed, processed some more and cried.
........and then something unbelievable happened (and I must say I have
one hell of a team on the other side), someone or something grabbed me
and pulled me up from the depths of despair. I came up and out and Above -
I found myself viewing the situation from a much higher
perspective and from there I was able to detach.
I realized that this was my son's chosen path. Just as I've chosen mine,
he has chosen his. I don't have to like it, but I sure as hell have
to honor the path he chose. Who am I to judge?
.........and as fate would have it, a long post showed up on my facebook
page from Amanda Lorence, the wayshower teacher. (you may want to like
her page). The post was a validation of what I had just been through, as my
brain scrambled to catch up to the monumental shift that had just
occurred.
She said, we must honor another's path, we must hold them
with dignity and high acknowledgement as they walk their chosen path.
Yes, that's exactly what had happened to me, it came to me as
clear as day and I just knew I had to let go. Momma can't fix this.
During this time I visited a shamanic healer Link here, I wrote about this in a
previous post. I knew that I had to FORTIFY myself and so I have begun
that work.
Detaching doesn't mean disconnecting. I will be there for my son in
any capacity I'm able to be. But not as a savior, I will be there
as a witness honoring his chosen path.